Once You Go Turian
by TurianRebel
Summary: Garrus and Shepard find themselves in a peculiar situation that neither of them ever expected. One-shot. Rated M for language and suggestive themes. Enjoy!


Whatever was in those crates couldn't have been Red Sand. The symptoms didn't match. It wasn't like anyone was feeling "high" either. If anything, they all felt like shit. Shepard had a pounding headache, Garrus was light-headed, and Jack was hallucinating. Good thing the team didn't start feeling any ill effects until they got back on the Normandy.

They had all made trips to Chakwas who had assured them all they would be okay. The doctor gave them things to treat their symptoms and sent them on their way. Garrus went back to the main battery, offering to help Jack back down to her cave below engineering, but she refused and passed out in the Mess.

Shepard said her goodnights and went off to bed. She had wanted to spend time with Garrus, but he wasn't feeling up to it. She spent most of the night tossing and turning, hands pressed tightly against her temples in pain.

When she awoke the next morning, her migraine was gone and she was feeling quite a bit better. Her first priority was to check on her team. She took the elevator down to check on Jack who seemed to be alright seeing as though she was busy playing cards with Engineer Adams again.

She decided to leave her be and go check on Garrus. As the door whooshed open to the main battery she visualized Garrus calibrating away, as usual. Much to her surprise, he wasn't there at all.

"EDI, where is Garrus?"

A long silence.

"Shepard, Mr. Vakarian does not appear to be on the ship."

Shepard's brow furrowed in confusion. He never left without telling her where he was going. _Could he have gone to the Citadel? _They were docked there, but they were planning to leave shortly.

"Can you contact him for me?"

Another long silence.

"Garrus is not responding to any communications."

Now she was getting frustrated. Garrus never left without notice, and was always very easy to contact. Something wasn't right, and she was going to figure it out.

She tapped her foot impatiently as the elevator took her back up to her quarters. This was unlike Garrus. It was suspicious and unnerving. Shepard planned to suit up and head out to the Citadel, just in case something was wrong.

The door hissed open and something didn't feel right. The light was on in her bathroom, she could see it peeking under the door. She never left the light on. And then a shadow broke the light and she knew someone was in there. Someone who either hacked her door or knew the passcode.

She crept slowly to her desk, grabbing her pistol. She checked it's thermal clip and made her way toward the bathroom.

Shuffling. Someone was certainly in there.

Suddenly—the door flew open and Shepard was face to face with a man she had never seen, a very naked one at that. She shot at the man and leapt back. With lightning fast reflexes the man dodged the shot and put out his hands in surrender.

"Shepard—wait!" the man said.

"Who are you?" she said, looking done the gun's sights to her target. "How do you know that name?"

"Shepard, it's me," the stranger said, pointing at his face. But there was no recognition. She continued to stare down the man, analyzing his features. She knew all of her crew and companions faces so well, there was no way this was one of them.

The man took a step out of the bathroom and Shepard took a step back, putting her other hand on the gun to steady it.

"I've never seen you in my life. You have about five seconds before I put one between your eyes."

Surprisingly, the man dropped down his guard and leaned into his hip. He chuckled as he said, "Oh, no one make that shot but me."

"Wait—" she began and then trailed off. She eyed the man more carefully. He had dark greyish-blue hair that was longer and slicked back. His body was slender and muscular, with a narrow waist and pale skin. The man took another step towards the light and Shepard could make out his piercing blue eyes and…scarring. Extensive scarring covered a large portion of the right side of his face.

"Shepard," the man started again. "It's _me._"

Shepard lowered her weapon to her side and took the remaining steps to close the gap between them. She took her left hand up to his face to touch his cheek. Then the truth hit her—

"It's me, Garrus," he said. The dual-tone in his voice was gone, but it sounded just like him.

Shepard was so startled that she stumbled backwards and fell. She scooted back a few feet until she was up against the fishtanks.

"Oh…my…"

"Imagine my surprise when I woke up this morning." Garrus said as he took a seat on the couch.

Shepard stared at him hard to try to make sense of what she was seeing. There were no mandibles. No face paint. He had five fingers and ears. And hair. _How could this be…?_

"What—but how?" Shepard said, getting up on her knees. "You're—"

"Human?" he interrupted. "I noticed that. It's…unusual."

"Impossible," she interjected. "Last night you were a turian. How is this even possible?" She stood slowly and leaned back against the fish tank.

"I'm guessing it was that stuff we were exposed to last night. As soon as I woke up, I knew there was something wrong. I had ten digits." He raised a hand up to his face and wiggled his fingers.

"_That _was the first thing you noticed? Not the lack of mandibles or the smoothness of your skin?"

"Oh, I noticed that too. You have no idea what it's like to have more than twice the number of fingers you had though."

Her mind was having trouble wrapping around this concept. Turians don't just wake up as humans out of nowhere. The longer she looked at him, the more certain she became that this had to either really be Garrus, or a human copycat playing a sick joke.

"This is impossible," she said again. She made her way over to the couch, doing her best to hide her trembling. She sat at the opposite end of him, unsure of what else to say.

"Shepard," he said as he scooted a little closer. She pulled her knees up to her chest and buried her face in them. A chill went down her spine when she felt a hand on her arm.

She looked up to see him only an arms length away with a sad expression on his face. She had never seen him cry, wasn't even sure that turians could cry. But this wasn't a turian anymore.

"Are you…crying?" she said softly. He looked over his shoulder at her collection of ship models and said nothing, the familiar patterns of his scarring being lit up by the soft blue light of the aquarium.

"Garrus?" she said, putting a hand on top of his.

"You're not attracted to me anymore, are you?" he said in a somber tone. He went to remove his hand but to his surprise, she grabbed onto it.

"I never said that." Shepard said as she moved closer to him. "It's just…hard for me to believe it's you." She thought for a moment, trying to figure out a way to test him. Then she remembered something that would guarantee whether of not it was him.

Carefully she took her hand and moved it up under his chin. _Here goes…_

"Shepard if—" Garrus started to say, but Shepard ran a finger across his jaw and he shivered involuntarily. There were only a few spots that turned him on, and she knew them all.

"That's…not fair," he said quietly, shifting his gaze back to her. _It is him_.

In a flash he lunged right at her. Shepard didn't realize that subtle turn-on's for turians would translate into major ones for a human. At first, she almost felt like she was cheating on him with a human, but _he _was the human. She probably would've thought more about it if he hadn't been kissing her neck like he was.

XXXXX

After little was said and a lot was done, the both just laid there. Shepard looked over at Garrus, his grayish hair glistening with sweat.

"That took a lot more effort than it usually does," he says between breaths. Shepard turns to lie on her side and reaches out to rub her thumb across his temple.

"As much as I enjoyed it, I'll be honest: once you've gone turian…you can never go back."

He gave her a confused look. "I'm not sure I understand the expression, Shepard." She looks around the room as she tries to think of a better way to say it.

"It's—it means—nevermind." It was hard for her not to touch his face all over, so she didn't even try to stop herself.

"Are you…having fun?" Garrus says as he watches her hand out of the corner of his eye.

"You know what's missing?"

"Uh…mandibles?"

Shepard rolls her eyes. "Your face paint." She traces out the familiar markings with her fingertip. Garrus sits up quickly and looks around.

"You're right! I need to fix that!" he says excitedly as he throws off the blankets and gets up from the bed.

"Um…" Shepard says as she points at him. He turns around to face her and she begins to blush. "You…might want to put some clothes on. Just saying."

He was so distracted by the fact that he was magically human that he forget that he was running around naked.

"No, I should go out like this," he says with a shake of his hips.

"I'll go get you some clothes. Stay here." And with that, Shepard gets off of the bed and slips on some more casual clothes. She can feel his eyes on her and realizes that he might be seeing her differently, not that they are the same species. She makes absolutely certain that she locks the door when she leaves. If anyone saw him, things would get weird.

As soon as she leaves, Garrus rushes back to her bathroom. He just stands in front of the mirror looking at his face from all angles. _For a human, I don't look too bad. _He rubbed his cheek, the familiar feeling of the mandibles gone. Then he goes to opening and closing his mouth, noticing the massive amount of teeth he has compared to before. He touches the edge of a tooth, noting its dull texture. _Humans are so strange._

Shepard returns and meets him in the bathroom. "Here," she says as she tosses him the clothes. "These will probably fit you." Garrus holds the shirt up against his chest, the lack of much shape or curvature troubling him.

"Are you sure?"

"Just put them on," Shepard says as she rolls her eyes and turns to go. "Oh, and I brought you this." She sets the small container of blue paint into his hand, his face noticeably brightening. "I'll leave you to it then."

After a few minutes Shepard here's the bathroom door hiss open. She's literally on the edge of her seat, curious to see him looking a little more normal. Well, as normal as a turian turned human could be.

"Does it…look okay?" he says. Shepard gestures for him to turn around. The clothes actually fit much better than he thought, the thin fabric hugging all the details in his muscles. With the addition of the blue paint going across his nose and around his cheekbones the look was complete. It was definitely said "Garrus."

"Wow," is all she could spit out.

"Is that good? I mean—" he lets out an exasperated sigh and crosses his arms. "You like this, don't you?"

"Let me put it this way," Shepard stands and saunters over towards him. "You were always good looking. But I could definitely get used to _this_."

"**HOLY FUCK**!" Jack says, jumping up from the table. The mess is empty, it must be the morning. She waits for her vision to readjust before charging towards the main battery. _What the fuck is going on!_

The door can't open fast enough and Jack almost walks into it. "Vakarian!" she yells. Garrus turns around quickly from his work to see Jack inches from his face.

"Jack, something you—"

"What the fuck?" she says turning his face left and right. "You're still an alien."

"What fantastic observational skills, Jack. Isn't it a little early for drinking?" he says crossing his arms. "Last I checked, I'm not a human."

"Yeah. Right."

Jack storms out of the battery, leaving Garrus standing there in total bewilderment. _Of course I'm a turian, stupid human._


End file.
